Interview with a Wizard
by XDRoseLuvsHP
Summary: Not like Interview with the Vampire. Just random interviews with people from the Harry Potter world. I was bored when I wrote this. Rated T just in case.
1. Harry Potter

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters or anything.**

Interviewer: Hello, how are you?

**Harry:** I'm fine, thank you.

Interviewer: Thank you for doing this interview with us. Ready for your first question?

**Harry:** Go on.

Interviewer: Alright, the first question is: Have you read the Harry Potter books?

**Harry:** No, I haven't. I don't really want to read another book about myself.

Interviewer: Do you know the books?

**Harry:** Er, no, not really.

Interviewer: It's very popular among us Muggles.

**Harry:** Wait, how do you know that term?

Interviewer: The Harry Potter books, of course.

**Harry:** What?!?! So Muggles _do_ know about us?!?!

Interviewer: Yeah. That's what the Harry Potter books are about.

**Harry:** Why didn't you mention this earlier?!?!

Interviewer: All I said was that the books are popular among us Muggles.

**Harry:** How long have you known about us?!?!

Interviewer: Since the books came out. But I'm supposed to be asking you questions.

**Harry:** Oh. Right. Sorry.

Interviewer: It's fine.

**Harry:** But could you please just tell me who _wrote_ the books?

Interviewer: J.K. Rowling. She's a very good writer.

**Harry:** I wonder how she knows about us…

Interviewer: What are you're thoughts on this?

**Harry:** I wonder… Is she a witch herself? The Ministry of Magic will be furious if they find out about these books. Muggles aren't supposed to know about us. No offence.

Interviewer: None taken. Now, I hear you are going out with your best friend's sister. Do you find this awkward, or is it all fine?

**Harry:** Well, at first it was a bit awkward. Ron didn't like it when he heard about all the people Ginny went out with. But he seemed okay with it when he found out, so I guess it's all fine.

Interviewer: That's good. Now, how did you feel when you found out, after 11 years living with your Muggle aunt and uncle, that you were a wizard?

**Harry:** It was one of the best moments of my life. I half thought it was all a dream at first, but it was the best birthday I've ever had, I think.

Interviewer: How is wizarding life different than Muggle life?

**Harry:** It's very different because we can use magic while Muggles can't. In some ways it makes our lives a whole lot easier, but it also has more danger. It's both ways. There are marvelous things about it, but there are awful things as well.

Interviewer: Just one last question: do you prefer to be called The Chosen One or The Boy Who Lived? Or another nickname?

**Harry:** Erm… Just 'Harry' is fine, thanks.

Interviewer: Alright, then, Harry. Thank you very much for taking part in this interview.

**Harry:** Not at all!


	2. Ronald Weasley

Interviewer: Hello, Ron! How are you?

**Ron:** Fine, thanks.

Interviewer: Okay. So I understand that you grew up in the wizarding world. What kinds of things did you do before you began you're first year at Hogwarts?

**Ron:** Er, not much. I did chores, I played Quidditch a bit, I traveled a bit. Nothing much, really. I tried to not fall for Fred and George's tricks.

Interviewer: And how has living with Fred and George changed the way you see things?

**Ron:** Well they have achieved quite a bit. Er, I dunno. I guess I can see more possibilities, after seeing all they've done.

Interviewer: You're father is quite interested in Muggles, am I right?

**Ron:** Well, yeah. He finds them fascinating. He also likes to see how they get along without magic.

Interviewer: I see. It must be hard for you to imagine. Now, how long would you say you've been interested in Hermione?

**Ron:** *blushing* Er, well, I dunno. I guess I kind of always liked her, I just haven't really realized it until she started dating Victor Krum.

Interviewer: Ah, yes. And how do you like playing Keeper for Gryffindor?

**Ron:** It's great! I don't think I was very good at it at first, but I got better. When I didn't do very well at first, the Slytherin's made up a song about how awful I was.

Interviewer: Who do you dislike the most at school?

**Ron:** Well, there's a bunch of people I'm not fond of. Zacharias Smith, for example. And McLaggen, I'm not fond of him either. And Malfoy of course. Snape's a bloody git too.

Interviewer: Why don't you like them?

**Ron:** Smith is just a git, that's all there is to it. McLaggen is a self centered snob of a Quidditch player. Malfoy's just about the biggest git there ever was. Snape's always favoring Malfoy and he hates Gryffindors, the git.

Interviewer: Who are you're favorite and least favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers?

**Ron:** My favorite has gotta be Lupin. He's the best DADA teacher we've ever had. My least favorite is Umbridge. She's pure evil, and she didn't help us study for our DADA OWLs, those are Ordinary Wizarding Level exams. If it weren't for the DA, that's Dumbledore's Army, I definitely wouldn't have gotten a DADA OWL.

Interviewer: I understand that DA meetings took place in the Room of Requirement. Have you and your friends found any other secret rooms or places?

**Ron:** Well, Harry had the Marauders Map, so we found some secret passages to get to Hogsmede. We also got into the Shrieking Shack, but that was because I was dragged there, we didn't actually find it ourselves.

Interviewer: What's your favorite store in Hogsmede?

**Ron:** Definitely Zonko's, or Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

Interviewer: Okay, well thank you for taking part in this interview.

**Ron:** No problem.


	3. Voldemort

Interviewer: So, Voldemort…

**Voldemort:** HOW DARE YOU CALL ME VOLDEMORT! YOU ARE UNWORTHY TO CALL ME VOLDEMORT, FILTHY MUGGLE!! YOU ARE TO REFER TO ME AS "MY LORD"! YOU ARE LUCKY I'M ON A CONTRACT NOT TO KILL YOU!

Interviewer: Geez, alright, alright. Fine, then, "my lord" *rolling eyes*

**Voldemort:** HOW DARE YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!

Interviewer: Okay, seriously, you need to _calm down_. Let's take some deep breaths.

**Voldemort:** *takes several deep breaths.* Ok, get on with this interview, let's get it over with already.

Interviewer: Thank you. So tell me; what made hate Muggles so much?

**Voldemort:** I always knew I was better than them. Always, even before I knew for sure I was a wizard. When I found out, I promised myself that I would be the greatest wizard of all time, and nobody was going to stop me, not even Dumbledore.

Interviewer: Have you always been so afraid of Dumbledore?

**Voldemort:** I AM NOT AFRAID OF HIM! I NEVER HAVE BEEN!

Interviewer: Alright, no need to yell. So why did you decide to split your soul?

**Voldemort:** I wanted to live forever, and forever be the greatest wizard the world has ever known!

Interviewer: How did you plan on becoming so great?

**Voldemort:** First I needed to gain followers. Then, I would show everyone how powerful I was, and cleanse the wizarding world of all those not worthy of wizarding.

Interviewer: Muggle-borns?

**Voldemort:** Exactly.

Interviewer: But you yourself are half blood, aren't you?

**Voldemort:** I HAVE FINISHED OFF MY FILTHY MUGGLE FATHER! AND I'VE CHANGED MY NAME AS WELL! I DO NOT CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE HIS SON! I WOULD NOT BE CALLED BY HIS FILTHY NAME!

Interviewer: ALRIGHT, I get the point. You really need to control your temper.

**Voldemort:** HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Interviewer: It's called _advice_. Alright, what kinds of hobbies do you have besides the whole wizarding-world-domination thing?

**Voldemort:** I like to kill Muggles.

Interviewer: Er… great. What other things do you like to do?

**Voldemort:** I like to torture my weak helpless victims. *evil grin*

Interviewer: Erm… great. I think we can… rap up now. Er… you can go if you want.

**Voldemort:** You haven't seen the last of me. *evil laugh*


	4. Hermione Granger

Interviewer: Hello! How are you?

**Hermione:** I'm fine, and yourself?

Interviewer: Very good, thanks. So Hermione, you were raised by Muggles. When you found out that you are a witch, was this a shock? Were you happy?

**Hermione:** Well, I was very surprised when I received the letter, but very excited. It all sounded so interesting, so I went to buy my schoolbooks right away, and I memorized them. I found out everything I could about the wizarding world.

Interviewer: What was your first impression of Hogwarts?

**Hermione:** Well, I'd already read all about it in Hogwarts: A History, but seeing it in real life is so different than reading the books. It was absolutely beautiful.

Interviewer: I heard you are excellent at all your subjects. Which do you like the best?

**Hermione:** Oh, I love them all! They are all so interesting, and I love every one of them! But if I had to pick a favorite, I'd probably say Arithmancy. It's so _fascinating_!

Interviewer: Who is your absolute favorite teacher?

**Hermione:** Oh, I don't know. I guess I'd have to say Professor Lupin. He was a fabulous teacher, he did his job so wonderfully. It's really too bad he resigned.

Interviewer: When you first figured out he was a werewolf, were you scared? Shocked?

**Hermione:** Well, I was shocked that I didn't see it earlier. I wasn't very frightened, because I trusted him, and if Dumbledore thought it was okay for him to teach even in his condition, then I thought he must be.

Interviewer: How do you think you've changed from your first year to your last year at Hogwarts school?

**Hermione:** Well, when I first started, I thought that everything I needed would be in the books. If I was ever unsure of anything all I'd have to do was look it up at the Library. But I learned that there is more to being a great witch than knowing everything about the wizarding world, though that is quite important still, but it is more about friendship and love, and these are things you can't learn about from books.

Interviewer: I know that you and a girl named Luna Lovegood had originally not taken much liking to each other. But you two seem to have grown much closer. Why do you think you disliked her originally? Why do you think you've grown closer?

**Hermione:** Well, I didn't like her at all at first. I thought she was just a completely gullible and senseless fool. But she is very kind, very gentle, and is always there to help you out when nobody else is.

Interviewer: But you still think she's gullible?

**Hermione:** Yes, there's no doubt about that.

Interviewer: Alright, well thank you for talking to us.

**Hermione:** Of course!


	5. Draco Malfoy

Interviewer: How are you, Draco?

**Draco:** What's it to you? I can't believe I'm talking to a Muggle. Wait till my father hears about this!

Interviewer: Continuing. You knew that you had wanted to be in Slytherin when you were sorted at Hogwarts. If you weren't in Slytherin, where would you want to be?

**Draco:** I already knew I'd be in Slytherin; everyone in my family has always been sorted there. If I _weren't_ in Slytherin though, I'd probably want to be in Ravenclaw. As long as I wasn't in Hufflepuff. I think I'd have dropped out of school right away.

Interviewer: At what point did you first start hating Harry Potter?

**Draco:** The first time I spoke to him, I didn't realize who it was, but he sounded like a bloody idiot to me. When I realized who he was, I found him making friends with Weasley. Our family has always hated the Weasleys. They are a disgrace to the wizarding world if you ask me.

Interviewer: Did you think Dobby was a good house elf?

**Draco:** No, not at all. He did what he was supposed to and all, but he always seemed like he absolutely hated doing what he told him. Still, he did make our life easier, and that makes me hate Potter more; when he freed Dobby.

Interviewer: What made you interested in Quidditch?

**Draco:** Well, I've been playing my whole life. Madame Hooch doesn't know what she's talking about when she says I hold a broom incorrectly. But when _Potter_ of all people became the youngest Quidditch player in the century, I did everything I could to outdo him, including getting _the best_ brooms for the whole team including myself in my second year at Hogwarts.

Interviewer: Were you afraid when Voldemort told you that you had to kill Dumbledore or he would kill you himself?

**Draco:** *denial* No! I wasn't a bit afraid! I knew _exactly_ what I was doing! I already had a plan! And it worked, didn't it?

Interviewer: Are you proud of this?

**Draco:** Well, yeah… I mean… no, but… no I am proud, but… I don't know! I don't even know why I'm even doing this bloody interview!

Interviewer: Well I thank you for taking your time to do this interview with us.

**Draco:** I _don't_ want to be here. Don't think I'm doing this because I want to.

Interviewer: But you are doing it.

**Draco:** Well, yeah, because I don't want Potter and all his friends getting all the glory. Can we just get on to the next question?

Interviewer: I see. Yes, don't worry, this is the last question. Are you proud to have helped out Voldemort and the Death Eaters?

**Draco:** I don't know! I mean, I was proud then, but I don't know if I wanted to, but… arg! It's too confusing! This is a ridiculous question anyway!

Interviewer: Okay, well thank you for this interview!

**Draco:** Yeah, right.


	6. Luna Lovegood

Interviewer: How are you, Luna?

**Luna:** I'm very well. Thank you.

Interviewer: So I'm wondering, what is one thing you would love to do or see at some point in your life?

**Luna:** Well, I'd love to see a Crumple-Horned Snorkack. My father has the horn of one at home.

Interviewer: Were you angry with your father when you found out that he almost turned Harry, Ron and Hermione in to the Death Eaters to get you back?

**Luna:** Well, I wasn't happy. But I do understand why my father did it, so I can't really be angry with him. But I really wish he hadn't done that.

Interviewer: Were you scared when the Death Eaters took you?

**Luna:** Yes, I was quite frightened. But I had a feeling that everything would turn out alright. So I didn't feel completely hopeless.

Interviewer: Who are your best friends in the whole world?

**Luna:** Well, Ginny Weasley and Neville Longbottom are my closest friends, and also Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. They are all the best friends I could ever hope for.

Interviewer: What are your best school memories?

**Luna:** I'd have to say the DA meetings. Those were my favorite times at Hogwarts. Also, I once went to a Slug Club party with Harry as friends. That was really fun.

Interviewer: Who is your favorite teacher at Hogwarts?

**Luna:** Oh, I don't know. Probably Professor Flitwick. He's a marvelous teacher.

Interviewer: Is that also you're favorite class?

**Luna:** Probably. Yes, I'd say so. Though I also quite enjoy Care of Magical Creatures.

Interviewer: Who did you prefer; Professor Hagrid or Professor Grubby-Plank?

**Luna:** Professor Grubby-Plank, I'd say. I think she is a very good teacher. What muggle interviewing company do you work for?

Interviewer: Interesting and Unexpected Interviews Co. Why?

**Luna:** My father loves reading interviews from there! They are very interesting! I do love reading them myself.

Interviewer: Thanks. What other things do you love to read?

**Luna:** Well, I always love to read The Quibbler. My daddy is the editor, you know. I really do love reading.

Interviewer: Oh, I see. Well, this has been a very interesting interview, Luna.

**Luna:** Thank you very much.


	7. Sorting Hat

Interviewer: So… should I call you Mr. Sorting Hat or just Sorting Hat?

**Sorting Hat:** Just Sorting Hat is okay.

Interviewer: Alright, Sorting Hat. Do you like sorting kids into houses?

**Sorting Hat:** It's alright. Some years are better than others, some kids are more stubborn about their houses than others, and some kids are much harder to place than others.

Interviewer: When you sorted Harry Potter into Gryffindor, did you feel like you did the right thing?

**Sorting Hat:** At first I thought I was mistaken, and he should have been in Slytherin. But after his second year, I began to think that maybe I did sort him properly after all.

Interviewer: And Hermione Granger. She is very witty. She could have been sorted into Ravenclaw. Why did you put her in Gryffindor?

**Sorting Hat:** Ah, yes. Miss Granger. I did consider Ravenclaw for her, but I saw in her head a good amount of courage, and though she may not have found it yet at the time, it was definitely there.

Interviewer: Many people thought you had misplaced Neville Longbottom at first. Why did you put him in Gryffindor at that time?

**Sorting Hat:** Mr. Longbottom, yes. I placed him in Gryffindor because he did have courage. It did not show much at first, but even by the end of his first year he grew much more courageous, as I knew he would.

Interviewer: How about when you sorted Luna Lovegood into Ravenclaw? Many people laugh about that one.

**Sorting Hat:** Yes. What many people do not understand is that wit is more than being correct most of the time. Lovegood has a different kind of wit. She is correctly placed.

Interviewer: Where would you place yourself if you were a Hogwarts student?

**Sorting Hat:** That is difficult. I cannot see inside my own head as well as I can see into others. But if I were to place myself, I'd probably put myself in Ravenclaw.

Interviewer: Many people think that Hufflepuff is the place where anyone who isn't brave enough to be in Gryffindor, witty enough to be in Ravenclaw, and sly enough to be in Slytherin go. Basically, the people who don't belong anywhere else. What are you're thoughts on that?

**Sorting Hat:** I disagree. Hufflepuff is where those who are loyal and just get sorted. Hufflepuffs should be proud.

Interviewer: What do you do during the rest of the year after the sorting ceremony?

**Sorting Hat:** I just sit in the headmaster's office. It can be rather boring, but what can I say? I am a hat; there is not much for me to do.

Interviewer: Alright, then! This has been a splendid interview.

**Sorting Hat:** Thank you for having me.


End file.
